How to Remember Names

One of the most frustrating and embarrassing memory problems is forgetting names. Especially if they are relatives. For this reason, most books on how to improve your memory have a section on how to do that. This has very practical business as well as social applications. In what follows I shall summarize for you the methods most often recommended.

With regards to remembering names and faces one university professor/author has noted:

“Virtually every memory author and expert proposes his ‘system’ for remembering names. One system may consist of three steps, another of five or six steps. All the systems contain essentially the same basic strategies but differ in how they divide them. The following steps outlined below capture the essence of virtually all memory systems for names.”

The professor goes on to note that “the main determinant of your memory for names is your awareness of these steps, and then your practice of them.”   He states that there is no “easy secret” for remembering names. And observes: “I have met many people who want to know the secret of remembering names, but when they are told the secret (as described in this system), they dismiss it as too much work or they do not think it will really help. However, the evidence shows to the contrary that the following steps and strategies really can help significantly improve one’s memory for names and faces, if they are applied.”

1.  Make sure you get the name correctly.
2.  Make the name meaningful or associate it with something or someone you remember well.
3.  Focus on distinctive features of the person or their appearance.
4.  Associate the name with the distinctive feature.
5.  Review the association periodically.

Additional tips and example:

In order to make sure you get their name correctly, make sure you repeat it after you are introduced. If it’s a difficult name, you may want to ask them how it’s spelled. And it would be wise, if you expect to greet them in the future, to write it down for later review.

If this is a relative, or someone you feel you should know, you may want to ask another  close relative or mutual friend to help you out. “What’s her name again?” They will understand. We all forget names from time to time.

Step # 2 is critical for long term retrieval. You may think you have it down, but if it’s not associated with someone else or something easier to remember in will likely become lost. For example:

When I first moved into my neighborhood one of the people I met at church was Mel Teeples, but I kept forgetting his name.  So I tried to think of what I could associate with Mel Teeples to help remind me of his name. Well fortunately I have a good friend named Mel, and the man’s last name reminded me of “steeple,” at least it sounds enough like steeple, that associating him with steeple reminded me of teeple. (Actually if you look at it, all one has to do is move the “s” from the front of “steeple” to the back and you have the name “Teeples”) So I imagined my friend Mel, with Mel Teeples standing on the top of the church each holding on to the steeple waving to the people going by.  Once I got that image in my mind I never forgot Mel Teeples again, because every time I saw him I could just imagine that odd picture of him and my friend Mel standing holding on to the steeple, which would remind me of Mel Teeples. (Odd or unusual images are usually easier to recall than the common place.)

It may take a few minuted to come up with a strategy to recall difficult names, but the more time you spend in that endeavor the more likely you will be to remember.  Simply because the extended exposure allows more time for your brain to  shift the name from short term to long term memory. If it’s a hard name you can also ask, “So what do you tell people to help them remember your name?” Most will already have some strategy they can share.

Finally, before your next party or family gathering (like Thanksgiving) it’s a good ideas to review in your mind a day or two before who you might meet, and if needed the associations you use to remember their name. If you can’t recall today, it may come to you tomorrow. And having reviewed these ahead of time, you will be much more likely to remember them when once again you meet.

For more great ideas on strategies to make the most of your memory see Chapter 10 in our ebook, Alzheimer’s May Be Stopped Now! Here’s How.